Therapy
by Klutzy Angel
Summary: There's a new therapist at Balamb Garden, and she seems to be making everyone go a little bit... crazy... Humor. Please Read and Review! Rated for Language.
1. The Doctor Will See You Now

**Therapy**  
"_A certain degree of neurosis is of inestimable value as a drive, especially to a psychologist…" – Sigmund Freud_**  
Chapter 1 – The Doctor Will See You Now**

Selphie chewed her apple very slowly and looked from one side of the cafeteria to the other suspiciously, as if she were afraid someone was about to jump out and attack her. Seifer looked at her curiously. He had been doing so for a few moments already but had yet to say anything: he was going through his head looking for the best insult to utter to the overly peppy girl.

"Expecting something bad to happen Nostradamus?" he finally said, pleased with his choice of words. Selphie looked up at him quickly and stopped chewing. "Why do you look so nervous?" he asked. Selphie swallowed and looked from one end of the table to the other.

"I look nervous, Seifer, because I _am_ nervous," she said quietly.

"Why?" he asked quickly, annoyed that the girl wouldn't just get to the point. Rinoa and Irvine, who were eating their lunch, stopped to listen to the conversation. Zell, however, could not drag himself away from his hot dog.

"Haven't you heard?" asked Selphie in an even quieter voice, "We have a new therapist in the Garden." Seifer stared blankly at her in response.

"Why does that make you nervous Selph?" asked Rinoa.

"Clearly because she's insane and doesn't want to get taken off to the loony bin," smirked Seifer. He was really on a roll today.

"I heard that Cid is making some people go to see her for like regular psych evaluations or whatever, and then they come back traumatized because the woman is _evil_," said Selphie widening her eyes and forming a claw with her left hand to emphasize 'evil'.

"That's ridiculous," said Rinoa.

"Yeah Selphie," said Irvine, "I don't think Cid would hire an evil woman to be a therapist. I mean who has even gone to see her? This is the first I've ever heard of this."

"This girl Jane went to see her and apparently after the session, her roommate came back to the dorm and found her with a shaved head and she had made a doll out of the hair," said Selphie nodding. This was really annoying Seifer; Selphie was normally insane, but this was just plain stupid.

"That's terrifying," said Zell who had finished his hot dog and was now listening intently to Selphie's words. Seifer rolled his eyes, of course the Chicken Wuss would believe that load of shit.

"Selphie I rarely say this to people, but you need to fucking relax," said Seifer.

"You always tell me that," said Selphie.

"Tell you what?" asked Seifer.

"To 'fucking relax'," she replied.

"Take your own advice," said Seifer immediately cracking up. He was just so funny today.

"What's with the one liners, are you practicing a stand up routine?" asked Irvine. Seifer stopped laughing. Damn, he had been burned. Way to ruin the streak…

"Squall have you heard anything about this new therapist?" asked Rinoa. Squall hadn't said a word to add to the conversation and he clearly had no intention to. He looked at Rinoa shrugged and turned to look out the window.

"Well I think that you shouldn't be so nervous Selphie. We don't even know if this woman is evil, or if any of us will get appointed sessions," said Rinoa, always one to have a level head about things.

Selphie shrugged and took another bite of her apple. Let her friends be so nonchalant about this. Selphie was going to be prepared for anything. Mostly she was prepared to hide from Cid in case he decided to give her an appointment. She had been dodging his messages all week in case that was the reason for his calls. It made planning next months spirit week with the Garden Committee pretty difficult.

At that moment Quistis walked into the cafeteria looking mad and accidentally knocked into someone who was walking by with a tray in their hands, knocking his food to the floor and ruining her SeeD uniform.

"Watch where you're going!" yelled the student who was clearly new since it was pretty well known you don't yell at instructors. Quistis looked at the boy with her mouth open and her jaw jutted out forward angrily.

"What?" she exclaimed, "Watch where _I'm _going? What about you fucktard? You got juice all over my uniform!" Quistis took a can of pop from the hands of one of the students who was watching the exchange and poured it slowly over the head of the boy. He looked at her shocked, paralyzed in his place. "Get out!" exclaimed the blonde. The boy quickly ran out of the cafeteria and Quistis stomped off toward the table where her friends were eating lunch.

She took a seat next to Seifer, completely ignoring the fact that everyone in the room was staring at her. Quistis unzipped her wet sweater and draped it over the back of the empty seat behind her. She looked up at her friends who were all staring at her in shock. Except for Squall, whose face held the same emotionless look it always did.

"What?" she asked the table. Then she looked around and saw that everyone in the cafeteria was still looking at her. "WHAT?" she exclaimed to the entire room. Everyone stopped looking at her and pretended to go back to what they were doing before. Quistis looked back to the table and turned to meet Seifer's gaze.

"I have never been so turned on in my entire life," he said breathlessly.

"Quistis are you alright?" asked Rinoa completely ignoring Seifer's remark. "You seem a little… on edge."

"Do I?" asked Quistis, her tone changing from wildly angry to her normal self, "I'm so sorry. Do you think that boy is upset?"

"You poured a can of pop over his head," said Irvine in response.

"I don't know what's gotten into me. I guess I'm still upset about that session I had earlier."

"What session?" asked Rinoa.

"Cid hired a new therapist, Bethany Weeler, and made all the instructors go see her and some of the other staff. She's a little… intense, I guess is how I would describe her," responded Quistis. Selphie glared at Seifer, her eyes screaming 'I told you so'.

"Would you say she is 'evil'?" asked Selphie, still staring at Seifer.

"Oh yeah," responded Quistis taking a cookie off of Zell's plate and biting into it.

"Did she make you cut off all your hair and make a doll out of it?" asked Zell nervously.

"What? No, that makes no sense. That isn't true." Zell looked to Selphie who nodded and mouthed the words 'it's true'.

"Quistis, what did she do to make you so angry?" asked Rinoa.

"And how do I get you to do that?" asked Seifer still staring at Quistis hungrily.

"I don't know… there isn't really one specific thing she did. It was sort of the whole hour I spent with her. She's just so nosy and she makes you feel like you're an idiot. And on top of that she kept interrupting me with snide remarks and I just…" Quistis trailed off and took a deep breath, not wanting to get upset again.

"I told you," said Selphie, "I told you _all_."

"She can't be that bad," said Rinoa.

"You'll find out soon enough," said Quistis, "Cid told me to tell you that he's scheduled you a meeting tomorrow."

"Why?" asked Rinoa suddenly nervous, "I'm not on staff… sort of." Rinoa worked in the infirmary as an intern. She wasn't getting paid for it so she technically wasn't an official employee of the Garden. "If anything Squall should go in. He's like all quiet and you know the craziest ones are always quiet." Squall looked up at her surprised. "Well you _barely_ talk." He shrugged in response.

"I thought that she 'wasn't that bad'. Are you nervous now?" asked Selphie proudly.

"No… I'm sure it will be fine," said Rinoa, almost believing her own words. If this woman could reduce Quistis to an angry mess what would she do to her? "I'll go to that session tomorrow and I will come back from it and tell you all how perfectly normal it was."

"Uh-huh…?" said Selphie skeptically, "Well I am out of here."

"Why?" asked Quistis, "Did I offend you too?"

"No, it's not that," said Selphie standing up, "If Rinoa has a meeting tomorrow then Cid might be looking for her. I can't take the chance of getting caught around her and being assigned a session too." Selphie walked off, careful to look behind the door before exiting the cafeteria into the hallway.

Zell looked around at his friends for a moment before getting up and leaving himself. Irvine followed soon after offering Rinoa a simple 'sorry'. She looked to Squall who clearly didn't care enough to leave and then at Seifer.

"Aren't you going to run off with the rest of them?" she asked him.

"I can't really uh… get up right now…." he said with a blush still looking at Quistis. Rinoa rolled her eyes. Quistis looked at him with her eyes in slits.

"You're perverted."


	2. Assumptions

**Chapter 2 – Assumptions**

"_If you can't solve their problems with therapy, solve them with drinking."_

– _Anonymous_

Rinoa sat in a chair in the waiting room of Dr. Weeler's office. She looked around the warm wood paneled walls looking at some generic pictures that were hung up on the walls. Some scenes of lakes and mountain, a poster of a cat hanging onto a rope that read: Keep Hanging in There.

Her first thought was: 'I'm not nervous.' Her second was: 'How did they fit a waiting room into the floor plan?'

Cid had caught up with Rinoa as she was going to the infirmary to check her work schedule. He told her about the appointment he had scheduled for her the following morning. She had spent the whole night tormenting herself about the session she was going to have. Selphie's ridiculous stories had really left an imprint in her mind and she couldn't shake them despite the fact that she knew they were illogical.

Rinoa looked up from her magazine when the door to Dr. Weeler's room opened and a guy walked out with a red face and puffy eyes. He looked like he had been crying… for hours. Jenny, the disturbingly emotionless receptionist said: "You can go on in now," as the boy left in a huff, completely oblivious to the fact that he seemed upset. Rinoa put the magazine back on the desk and entered the office.

The room had a huge floor to ceiling window and completely bare white walls. Rinoa found it odd that the room was so sterile while the waiting room was nice and cozy. It was like this woman was trying to lull her patients into a false sense of security.

"Have a seat," said Dr. Weeler pointing to her left, not bothering to look up from her notes. Rinoa did as she was told and sat down in one of the chairs the woman had pointed to. She breathed a small sigh of relief since Dr. Weeler certainly didn't look menacing. She was a petite brunette, with little gray hair showing from her tightly wound bun. Her oval-shaped glasses sat on her nose and she looked more like a kind Kindergarten teacher than anything else.

Dr. Weeler got up from her desk and sat in the chair opposite from Rinoa. She flipped to a new page on her notepad and scribbled some things down quickly.

"So… Rinoa Heartilly… Tell me why you're here." Rinoa looked at her a little confused; didn't she know that Cid had made her the appointment.

"Um, Cid made the appointment for me," she said. Dr. Weeler stared at her with an emotionless expression in response. "He's been giving them to all the staff of the Garden… I hear…" she said trying to fill the silence.

"Alright," was the woman's response as she wrote some more notes. "Tell me about your family."

"My father is General Caraway, he's in the military."

"Well you did say 'General' so military is inferred," said Dr. Weeler. Rinoa wasn't sure but she was pretty sure she just saw the woman let out a small sigh. She ignored it and continued.

"And my mother was a concert pianist, Julia." Dr. Weeler stared at Rinoa for a moment. This was not going well. Why were there so many pauses?

"Explain to me why you think you're better than everyone," said Dr. Weeler. Rinoa noticed now that the woman never really _asked_ anything. More like she gave directions.

"I-I don't think I'm better than everyone," said Rinoa caught off guard by the question.

"Is that so? When asked about your family you told me first about you General father, and then you pianist mother. Most people would talk about their relationship with their parents, you went right ahead and told me their titles. It suggests that having a high place in society is important to you and that you think you have one due to your heritage." Rinoa had to stop her jaw from dropping. She didn't think that… did she?

"I thought that you would want to know what they did," she said in response. Her statement was met with silence, so she continued. "I thought you'd want to know their profession so that you could ask me about my relationship with… them…." That didn't make sense. Why was she so flustered? These weren't difficult questions. This woman was confusing her.

"Let's talk about something else," said Dr. Weeler. Rinoa was happy for a topic change, but nervous as to what she could possibly ask her next. "Talk to me about your friends."

"I have a few good friends. Selphie and Quistis are my good girlfriends, and Zell and Irvine are my close guy friends. I'm also dating a guy named Squall," she said. This time she was careful not to divulge their jobs in case Weeler would say she thought she was better than everyone again. "And I guess Seifer is my friend too."

"What do they do?" Dr. Weeler asked.

_What?_ Thought Rinoa, _didn't she just chew me out because I mentioned what my parents did?_

"They work at the Garden. Selphie is involved with the Garden Committee, Irvine is just a mercenary – he's a mercenary," she said correcting the word 'just'. "Squall is working with Cid, Zell is also a mercenary and occasionally works at the gym and Seifer, he is a student here."

"I see," said Weeler, "Does Squall know you're in love with this Seifer character?"

"Wh-What?!" exclaimed Rinoa. Dr. Weeler made a face that suggested any more exclamations would not be tolerated and Rinoa quickly calmed her tone. "I'm _not_ in love with Seifer."

"You aren't? Out of all of your friends he was the last person you mentioned. Both times. This suggests to me that he's always the last thing on your mind, like you can't get him out of your head."

"Wouldn't that mean that I don't like him since he's the last thing on your mind?" asked Rinoa her eyes forming slits. Dr. Weeler looked at her for a moment. _Yeah I got you now lady_ she thought grinning victoriously on the inside.

"People also save the best for last," was her response. The party in Rinoa's head ended and she just stared at Dr. Weeler. "Well Rinoa I think we're done for now."

"It's only been like 20 minutes…" said Rinoa slowly.

"While it may have been _about_ 20 minutes," said Dr. Weeler correcting Rinoa's poor grammar choice, "I think I'm done with you. You can go." With that the woman got up and went back to her desk.

"Okay…" said Rinoa getting up, "Should I schedule another appointment or something?"

"Do you think you need one?"

_Bitch_ thought Rinoa. She shook her head and left the office. She was thinking to herself as she walked aimlessly through the halls. Was she right about Rinoa loving Seifer? She certainly didn't think she loved him. Half the time she didn't even _like_ him.

"Rinoa!" called Selphie once Rinoa walked into the cafeteria. She hadn't even noticed she was headed there. Rinoa walked over to her friends moving through the _crowded_ cafeteria and sat down in between Selphie and Irvine.

"How was your session?" asked Selphie wide-eyed, "Did she make you cry?"

"I notice your hair is all there," said Zell, "So can I assume it didn't go that badly?"

"I don't know… she really confused me," responded Rinoa. "Do you guys think that I think I'm better than you?"

"Not particularly," said Quistis.

"Sometimes you act like you're better than me," said Seifer who was sitting across from Rinoa. Rinoa looked at him and then looked away quickly. Had she sat in front of him because she wanted to be closer to him? No then she would have sat beside him… wouldn't she?

"You tried to end the world, _everyone _is better than you Seifer," said Selphie.

"Jeez harsh," said Seifer grabbing at his heart dramatically.

"That was for yesterday's joke-fest," stated the brunette sticking her tongue out.

"That woman is tricky," said Rinoa, "she just got all up in my head and like twisted my brain around." She was getting upset now. Why did that woman have to make her feel so confused?

"Confusing you isn't that hard. Just move something sparkly in front of you," said Seifer sarcastically. He waved his silver fork in front of her face for dramatic effect. Rinoa scowled angrily at him.

"Shut up Seifer! I don't even like you that much!" she exclaimed before getting up and leaving the cafeteria. Squall, _who was seated at the table with them, _followed Rinoa out of the room.

"Whatever," said Seifer crossing his arms, "I don't like _her_ that much _either_."

"Rinoa seems pissed. I think it's time to do some investigating," said Selphie ignoring Seifer.

"I thought you were scared of Dr. Weeler," said Quistis.

"Nuh-uh, I've upgraded to insanely curious. Come on Zell, let's go stake this bitch out."

"Why me?" asked Zell nervously.

"Because you're the strongest and can protect me," she said with a smile. Zell smiled back. "Also if she corners us I'll just throw you in front of me and she can ask you about what you're thinking and then get annoyed with you and leave."

"Why would she get annoyed with me?"

"Well she's asking you what you think, and let's face it Zell, you don't think all that much. It's like hot dogs, and girls, and exercise," said Selphie in what she thought was a nice tone.

"Hey! I have thoughts; I'm complex," he argued.

"Oh fresh hot dogs!" exclaimed Selphie pointing behind him.

"Fresh?!" he asked whipping his head around. Selphie shrugged.

"See, I'm right?"


End file.
